Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
