stop calling my apartment porn island.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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