I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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