he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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