sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
