Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
