i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
