Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
