Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
