big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
