I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
