Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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