it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
