I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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