You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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