woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize