All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
