she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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