I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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