I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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