Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize