would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
