i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
