i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
