Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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