Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
