chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Randomize
