it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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