JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
time to smoke my breakfast
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She bit a glass in half.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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