Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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