it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
