I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize