We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize