He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
