First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
