This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
