apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize