shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
