It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
