I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
