You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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