Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
