The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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