he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
