Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
