He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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