I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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