the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
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There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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