Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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