The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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