I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
