I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
