Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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