I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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