Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
