yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
