Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
