well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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