And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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