I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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