How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
