I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
