my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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