So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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